Tiger Mothers now, Therapy in 20 years.

I’d call the piano “lesson” child abuse. Telling her daughter that her doll house was going to be given away piece by piece? Emotional abuse. Telling her she couldn’t get up and go to the bathroom or get a drink of water? Physical abuse. Doing it out of “love”; I shudder to think how much therapy it’ll take to unravel that.

It’s taken me 30-some years and more than 2 decades of therapy starting in my teens to get over some of the parenting techniques described. I know my parents love me, I know all the crazy controlling behavior was because they cared and wanted the best for me. I can’t begin to explain how TWISTED it made my views on relating to other people, love, and what is acceptable behavior in an interpersonal relationship. Equating love with controlling behavior has resulted in unstable relationships professionally and personally.

I think this whole “Chinese Mother” debate has really hit a raw nerve in the pan Chinese-American/Canadian community because a lot of people were really affected by it. A lot of people were really traumatized growing up by high-pressure parents who did what they did because they think it was the right thing to do.


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